Though You May Have Broken Your Vows

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THOUGH YOU HAVEBROKEN YOUR VOWS

First Unitarian Church of Saint Louis,

September 15, 2013

©2013 Rev. Thomas Perchlik

I hope themusictodayhasbeen soothing, givingyou afeelingof relaxation, ease oreven healing, since there is somuchin lifethat can setour nerves onedge and causeus division anddisruption.Weall needsomesort of healing, and return to wholeness.  Along these lines, onthe eveofYom Kippur,perhaps you were intrigued by the National Public Radio story aboutthee-scapegoat.  Createdbyan organizationwhosegoal is tocommunicatebasicJudaism, thegoat’swebsiteisescgoat.com.That is‘esc’theabbreviationof‘escape’on computerkeyboards, and ‘goat,’all one word, dot com. 

The cartoon goat is inspired bythesixteenth chapter oftheBiblicalbookofLeviticus.This chapter ends with the readingfor today (Lev.16:29-34), formally establishing YomKippur,butthefirstmajorityofthe chapterspeaksabout blood sacrificesand onegoatthat is rituallyselected.Onto this goat, thePriestis instructedto place thesinsofthecommunity, and then to sendthe Goatinto the wilderness ofAzazel.  Later Christiansconfusedthis nameofa desertwith thenameofa demon.  This created various levels ofconfusion,butthebasic ideas wasfor the goat (and the sins) to get lostand dieinadesert wilderness.The website allows acartoongoat to collect sins and then roam thewilderness of theInternet, announcing the sinsvia ‘tweets.’

Every year ontheSundaynearest toYom Kippur Ipreachonforgivenessandreconciliation.  Our religionandthe Jewish religionare verysimilar at root.Wedrawfromthe ethicaland justice-orientedteachings ofthe prophets and the HebrewScriptures, justas Jesusdid.  Above allweshareasense thatthepurpose offaith is tikkun olam, the repairof the world.

ModernAmericanculturehas also emphasizedforgiveness.  EveryonefromOprah to the Mayo Clinicwebsitewill tellyou to letgo, to not keep grudges,andtoforgive, all becauseit is goodfor you, it helps reduce blood pressure and improve the immune system.   Forgiveness isa cancelingof a debt someoneowes you.It is letting go of a grudge or asense that someone has taken something from you.Giving forgiveness is important.  Itis verypowerful.  But today is not about forgiving as being forgiven. 

The point I make todayis that, as we work to repair the world, seeking forgiveness is not the sameasseekingatonement.  Today,I want to emphasize that atonement is a processwhich requiresmuch more thanagoat gettinglost inthe wilderness.  Atonement requires regret, repentance,repair,and reconciliation.

I like to saythatthereis onequestionatheart, of eachreligion.  ForJudaismit is “WhatdoesTheLord require?”In Christianityit is “What is requiredfor salvation?”Todayourquestion is “What is requiredforatonement?”I amnot talkingaboutanything thatshouldbeforcedon youbyothers. Atonement is something you must do ofyour own will andoutofyour own desirefor reconciliation.

Weall will feel regretatsometime orother, an awareness that we have fallen short, failed, or ofcausedharm.Our actions have consequencesand we mayregret those consequences.  

I rememberin myfirst year in seminary, studying for theministry, we had discussionin which we weresupposed tospeakabout some regret we had.  But I, ahappytwenty-something youngman, felt I hadnoregrets.  EvenifIhadmade a bad decision, Ifelt it wasthebestdecisionI could havemade at the time and that I should acceptmychoice andtheconsequences.I hadno regrets. 

Since thenI have lived longenough to have gatheredsomeregrets.There are several things I have doneor said that I knowcaused harmandI sincerelywish I could takethem backor healthedamageI caused.So,thefirststep inhealingis to express regret. 

This ismuchmorethan saying "I'msorry".  Often thatphrase onlymeans“I am sorryyou foundout whatI did”or “I amsad that youare angryat me”. But trueregret is a willingness to behonestabouttheharm you causedandto name it.  Ithelps to saywhat we did wrongandtosayhowit hurt another,without explanation ordefense:simplytoadmit thefacts.

Lastnight mywife andI went tosee themovie,“Blue Jasmine”.Themovie depictsagroup of people;noneof them are willingto acknowledge theharm theyhave caused.Themain character keeps justifying her actions.  She was involved in her sister losing $200,000, but she keepssaying that shewas only“tryingto helpthemget in onagood deal.”But shenever shows real regret for thefactthat thegood deal was in fact ascam.She never shows regret for theharm and loss shecaused.Sheadmits thingswent badly, but believesit was notherfault because she was trying to help.

And then there is the storyof theRabbi who was sick of allthefastingand seriousnessanddeprivationofYomKippur.OnoneverylovelySaturdayhe decides to gogolfing, instead avoidingall work (which includes golfing). The weather is too goodnot to enjoyit, he thinksto himself.He chooses a coursewhere he will surelynotmeet anyonehemightknow.  As he is out on the links,anangel inthedivinecourt seeshim and rushestoGod.

“Oh Lord”he says,“Look! The Rabbi isbreaking your commandment!  Heis notkeepingtheSabbath holy!” 

Godreplies“I’ll fixhim”.Soas God looksdown, theRabbilifts his clubandtakesa driving swing.Theballfliesoff thetee, through the air,and lands right in theholeinthe green.  It is aholein one, andononeofthemoredifficultparts of the course!  â€œWhat?” cries out theangel“Whatkindof punishment is that?!”  God smiles wrylyandsays,“Who’s he goin’to tell?”

Yes, sometimes we regret what we do andwe want torepairthe relationship orpersonwe have hurt.The Biblical Psalmist, speaking to God (Ps.51:16-17) putit this way: “You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifice of God is a broken sprit. A broken and contrite heart you, O God, will not despise” 

Maimonides(1134–1204),the greatmedieval Jewish philosopher, commentedonthe Bible passage about the scapegoat.He wrote,“These ceremoniesare of a symboliccharacterandserve toimpresseachof uswith acertain ideaand toleadusto repent, as iftosay,‘Wehavefreed ourselves ofour previous deeds, castthem behindour backs and removedthem from us asfaras possible."

So this leadsus to repentance.Theword literallymeans toturnaround,toturn awayfrom onething toward another to ‘cast something behind our backs and be removed from them as far as possible’. Repentancemeans changing your actions.It will nothelp to admitthat stealing apples is wrongand causes harm,if you go ahead andstealmoreapples.True regret should leadusautomaticallyto repent ofthataction.If getting drunk causesus to behavebadlythen we must simplystop drinking. 

The ten days leading up to YomKippur are known as theTen Days ofRepentance. Duringthis period Jews are encouragedto seekoutanyonetheymayhave offended and to sincerelyrequestforgiveness so that theNewYear canbeginwith aclean slate.  Theprocess of repentance is calledteshuvahand it isa crucial part ofYomKippur.

There areseveral stages of teshuvah, including the sinner recognizing his or herwrongs, feelingsincereremorseand doing everything in theirpower to undoanydamage thathasbeendone. If a specific person has beenwronged the offendermustask that person forforgiveness.Thefinal stage ofteshuvah is resolving to never commitsuch asin again. The theological notion behind repairis that your trespassesare not just against other people but againstGod, so you owe God something.  

Note that third step in teshuvah, undoing the damage that has been done.  The Twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, also contain seeking to make amends as part of recovery. But then, some wounds are beyond direct repair.  Murder, publicfraudor thievery, and public defaming of another person are all different because the victims are unreachable or notable to be counted.  In today’s story, Mr. Peabody's Apples (spoken version available at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9p4oM5lqq4). It was all but impossible for Tommy to undo the damage from repeatedly (and wrongly) telling others that Mr. Peabody was a thief.  In that situation, repair can be very complicated, and ultimately impossible.  So the goal of repair is to do what you can within your power, and then let grace, the unearned source of healing, do the rest.  Likewise in South Africa Nelson Madela led them not to seek retribution, but truth and reconciliation.  They realized that retribution, criminal trials and all, would not have brought healing, only more harm.  

The larger goal of Reconciliation is to reweave the social fabric, to restore the great community evoked by prophets and visionaries.  It is a community not only of peace but also reconciliation, not only of truth and justice, but also compassion and understanding.  As the Sufi poet Rumi wrote: “Come,come,whoeveryouare.Wanderer,idolater,worshipperoffire, comeeventhoughyouhavebrokenyourvowsathousandtimes,Come,andcomeyetagain.Ours,isnotacaravanofdespair.” (MuslimNarrativesandtheDiscourseofEnglish(2004)byAminMalak).  Inspired by this poem the Unitarian Universalist Minister, ReverendLeslie Takahashi-Morris, wrote these words:  

Come, come, whoever you are,comewith your hurts,yourimperfections,yourplacesthat feel rawand exposed.

Come, come, whoever you are,comewith your strengthsthat theworld shutterstohold.

Comewith your wildimaginings ofa better world.

Comewith your hopes that seems no onewants to hear.

Wanderer,worshiper,loverof leaving,we willmakeaplacefor you.

We will builda hometogether.

Oursisnocaravanof despair.

 

Wewillwalk together.Come, yetagain,come.